Arizona
Discovery Arizona was discovered by someone trying desperately to go somewhere else. After many years, and I mean MANY freaking years, Arizona was "discovered" by Charleton Heston in 1968. He established the first contact between the people of Arizona and the city dwellers. After loosing part of the party to city dwellers, Heston was able to escape and form his own tribe with a native. Their decendents populate much of the state to this day. History Starting with the war with the forbidden Zone Mutants and the discovery of Heston's ship, little is known about this state. The Lawgiver givith and the Lawgiver taketh awayith. The sacred scrolls do mention a distant past but that information is strictly controled by the GOP and the Arizona Minister of Science. Achieving Statehood Arizona was brought into the United States in the belief that Heston's decendents, who lived there, would support the attempt to pack the US Supreme Court and thus turn America into a banana republic (which means communist). Arizona Today Currently Arizona is under construction. Those who have passed through report that the state is apparently attempting to prevent people who enter from exiting. This is being done through a calculated system of highway construction that is never completed. Arizona also has a significant increase since the 1990's by an invasion of a barbaric horde known as "hipsters", fake socialists who have a stronghold in the quaint town of Scottsdale, a satellite city-state of Phoenix. Since then Scottsdale, and the rest of Arizona has become a bastion of communism and "boutiques". Famous Arizonianses Stephen Colbert was named an Honorary Arizonian by an act of the State Legislature earlier this year. Otherwise, there have been no significant Arizonians. Oh, wait. Barry Goldwater was from Arizona. I think. A Typical Day in Arizona Most days begin with comments about the weather. This is followed by a nutritious breakfast of high-fiber, low-fat foods. After breakfast, conversations about the day's heat factor index are common. By lunch time, most Arizonians are more than ready to get back inside to the air-conditioning. Lunch is followed by "siesta time," when Arizonians doze off while looking out the window, watching Mexican gardeners work. Early-bird dinners are served from 3:30 to 5:45 p.m. Full prices are charged after 5:45. Don't bother arguing about the correct time. Just get there early, is that asking so much? All Arizonians end the day with several hours of FOX News, followed by the Colbert Report and then quickly to bed, to gain the rest necessary to make it through the next day, which is supposed to be even hotter, Jesus Christ, if you can imagine that. Arizona's New Law: "Mexicans Are Not Americans" Law For years Mexicans have been invading America and many of them have infiltrated the sacred land of Arizona, but not anymore. Thanks to a new law passed in 2010 we can now stop the Brown Invasion. The new law will stop crime and terrorism from destroying Arizona and America. Many Real Americans are very thankful to Arizona for taking a brave stance against these fureign invaders. Speak American Or Get The F#ck Out Law The New law will make sure that anyone who doesnt speak proper American will be branded an illegal and immediately deported before he or she corrupts our language. Emergency Update!!! Activist Judges are trying to undermine Arizona's Awesome Law to Help Students Against The Mexican Threat Law to be overturned because it violates The Libural Interpretation of the Constitution! Terror News: A brave Arizona Hero killed a terror mooslim dog! News of this brave deed is already spreading throughout the State! The Hero has demanded to remain anonymous, which has baffled the news media. Hero, dont be so modest and show your face so we can congratulate you! New Law Arizona passed a new law to counter the new Latino race. From now on all women are pregnant! Always and all the time! This way we can induce a new imaginary population increase of imaginary Real Americans. Tube Sources *Charitable Organizations in *Canada's China *Arizona joins the fight against hippies and liberals! *Arizona liberates its fetuses by by arming them! *Arizona forced to take commie welfare money or mooslim leader will bomb them *Arizona Goes Bankrupt: Arizona State for Sale! SOLD! *Arizona Welcomes the 2nd Amendment! *AZ Schools Superintendent To Be Given Great Honors *Arizona defeats the Gay Threat! *Arizona to be Hell's new capital *Arizona to privatize death row: half of Arizona now on death row profits to follow *Real American Judge brings the law *Arizona passes anti-hate whitey law *New evidence suggest new anti-fureigners law is working! *Arizona to hunt down mini-terrorists *Arizona to hold Puppet Show to teach Liburals why Mexicans are bad *Mexico soon to invade Arizona *Mexico declares war on Arizona *Arizona finally captures dangerous Mexican Mooslim Terrorist: Soon to Be Deported! *Zombies hacked road signs *New Alien Technology to turn Mexicans into White People discovered. Government destroys evil facility *Illegals now too scared to break and enforce the law. WE DID IT!! *Invaders continue to invade our people's land ...wait a minute, they are white! *Arizona newest tourist attraction: Is a wholesome fun for the whole family *Mexican claims to be white and american, ha! *There are no more black people in Arizona *New law makes Arizona Mexican Free! *Arizona elects New Pope to Fight Gayrrorism *Arizona to pass new law to hunt down mini-terrorists *Arizona to give Medal of Freedom to Border Patrol *Arizona to offer free housing! *Emergency News: Liburalism Haz Already Contaminated Our Youth!! Gotcha Journalism Humiliates Real Amurican!!! *Utilities to cut off Illegals' Superpowers *Poor People continue to plague Arizona *Gays abandon Arizona *Hippie invades Arizona *Arizona to liberate our businesses from The Mexicans *Activist Judge ruins white hope *New law to build bigger churches will entice Ground Zero Mosque to move to Arizona! *UN to invade Arizona *Gov. Jan Brewer brainwashed by Mexicans!Arizonans consider her speech as the greatest in the century *Arizona's economy continues to thrive! *Racist Mexicans invades Arizona *Good News! Arizona's Law does not recognize mooslim tyrant as The Real President! *Arizona's Supercop to retire *Arizona to veto hippie law! *Real Americans attacked by hippies *Arizona embraces free market health care. Welfare Queens forced to work for medicine *Another Poor Welfare Queen dies. Tax Payers dollars saved! *dangerous activist to overthrow Arizona's government *Arizona's GOP promises to unleash the next Pandemic before 2012 *Liberal Teleprompter sabotages speech *Arizona to use all their money to stop the Mexican threat *Arizona continues brave struggle to help the rich *Arizona defeats Mexican invasion! Meanwhile, Dollars disappear overnight! *Wikileaks is now destroying Arizona! DO NOT SEE THIS LINK. Or Joe Arpaio will arrest you for being Un-American! *Arizona finally Mexican free! *Arizona, a tea baggers paradise *This is a new day in Arizona!